I could find a reason to hate every person that I see
Sometimes I think that they're all onto me
No matter what it is that I am trying to project
This act is just as transparent as me
I am too depressed for sex, I just want to feel your arms around me
to know there is a human being that still is somewhat happy to see me
'cause I could go outside my house, surround myself with people everywhere
but if nobody looks at me I start to think that maybe I'm not there
And if they notice me I'm like a pillar or a coke machine
Pay just enough attention to make sure they don't run into me
But I could use a little more than that. I could use a little more than that.

I have this reoccurring fantasy where all of my guitars have been smashed beyond repair and thrown into a fire
and I wouldn't have to quit my bands because I wouldn't have any bands, and I wouldn't be the person disappointing everybody
And I could simply listen to the music that I like without drawing constant comparisons to bullshit that I write
and I could go to shows and be happy for my friends who try and try and sometimes get exactly what they've got coming to them.
And I don't even know just what it is I'm going for, cause I don't even know what I enjoy consuming anymore
cause I have grown so critical of even my own tastes, and if you dig in far enough you'll always find some quality to hate,
and I have tried to fight that urge when it kicks in, but I am not the person that I was when I was seventeen.
It's okay to be stupid and happy, but self-imposing ignorance is indefensible.

And popular radio host says mediocrity is just a natural state of everything creative that is called into existence
and it can take a fucking act of will just to escape it, but I don't want to bring anymore bullshit to the table,
But popular radio host says also that it helps to work in volume
to try and try at something til eventually you figure out a way to make your product to align with your own standards, and try hard not to quit under the weight of your own failures.
And I don't try/work hard enough.

And if nobody hears the record, cause the record don't get made
and if nobody's at the shows because the shows never get played
and if the record gets a bad review, because it sounds like shit
then is it all my fault for writing it, or Michael Cunnane (Cut the Shit mobile recording studio)'s fault for recording it.
And if the songs don't get finished because the songs aren't quite perfect, then how's that stack against a record full of songs with slight defects, that still approximate the thing that I was trying to say so that somebody else could hear it and be happy 'cause they've felt about the same.